i will never coherently bang her
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
