Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
