That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize