shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
