Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
