I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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