I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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