Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
this just has baby written all over it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
