i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
