he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
