Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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