Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
