If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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