so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
