You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
