Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
