i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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