I heard we made out
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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