if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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