i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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