Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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