there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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