I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize