Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
