This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
