Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
They are going to name an STD after you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
