I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
