HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
