Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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