Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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