Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
