omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
