I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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