i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize