i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
