Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Why is there bacon in the couch?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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