i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
