Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
