i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
