A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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