next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
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