i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
