i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
my poor anus
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
