I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
