they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
3 2 1 whiskey
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
