Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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