you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize