Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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