There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize