CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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