Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
