My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
