my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
