Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize