let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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