Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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