dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize