sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
