sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
