ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
