I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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