Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
