If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
