I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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