You're completely useless in the revolution.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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