it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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