At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
