i don't like sucking hair
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
