You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
