I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize