Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
