You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
