Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
