lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
