someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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