I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
