Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I think my moral compass just broke
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
