I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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