Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
