so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
