he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
