i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Everything about him screamed your future.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
