Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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