I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
