Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize